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Posts Tagged ‘son’

It’s amazing to think that my oldest baby is now 36 years old today.  We have an incredibly strained relationship but no matter what, I love him with all my heart and all my soul.

Happy birthday, Logan.  I pray that your day is as you wish.

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Those of you that have read my blogposts throughout the past several years know that I write about a variety of topics.   I couldn’t limit myself to one thing if I tried.  I have entirely too many interests and ideas as well as a multitude of life experiences, being the age that I am.   

One of my common topics, however, is my children.  All of them are among the most important things in my life and have all made me the person I am today.  Through all of the ups-and-downs, all three of them have made an amazing impact on me. 

My middle child, Keegan, died when he was 17 years old, one year post double lung transplant.  He had an amazing old soul and touched more people in his short 17-year life than most people do in 80 or 90 years.   All of this I have discussed previously.  However, this morning, shortly after I arrived at work, it again became apparent how much impact he had.  I received a message from one of his high school buddies.   I can flat out say … I UGLY cried … which sounds terrible but it was a “truly-touched-my-soul-to-the-core cry” … and once again convinced me of what a truly remarkable being Keegan is/was.

 
Anyway, shortly after I arrived at work, I noticed a private message that had been sent to me via social media.  I checked and noted it was from a good friend that was one of Keegan’s really good buddies throughout school.  Her name is Ann and she has her own blog at:

 http://lostandfarm.wordpress.com 

 
Check her out. She is a wonderful friend, wife, and mother with a wealth of wisdom to share.

 
Anyway, I received the following message from her this morning:


 

 

 
 She then proceeded to state the following: “I don’t know if you remember Colleen ____ (she’s Colleen Houser now) but she asked if I know how to reach Keegan’s family still because she wanted to let them know that Keegan touched a lot of lives and will never be forgotten.  I told her I would pass the message on.”

 
I responded with: “You are more than welcome to give her my email and have her contact me through Facebook.  I’m sitting here sobbing at work.   He died the end of May.”

 
This is what I received in return from Ann: 
 

“I’m sure she’d love that. … she basically grew up with us and we all went to high school together. 🙂  She was often in on our shenanigans with Keegan.   LOL!  These are her books, by the way.”

 
There was more, but I’ll leave it at that.  Colleen contacted me through Facebook.   I remember her as part of the crowd that all were silly together in high school with Keegan and who he counted as friends.  I encourage you to go to her Amazon website and check her out.  It’ll be well worth it.  Her Amazon.com author page is:

 
https://www.amazon.com/Colleen-Houser/e/B00C5RHY00/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1491593348&sr=1-2-ent 
 

I’ll end with this.

 

Even if your life is short, go out and do something big.  Affect the lives of those around you, however you can.   Uplift.  Share.  Enjoy.  Put yourself out there.  Don’t live small.  Live large and you will make a difference.

Carry on, all. 

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My oldest son is 33 today.  He was born at 5:15 am (Pacific Time) on 11.7.1982.  (See the picture above?  That’s me 33 years ago when I was bringing him home from the hospital.).  I’m not quite sure how he could possibly BE that age, since, when I think about how old I feel, I don’t feel like I could have a child that age, but since he was born when I was 28, I suppose that I can’t deny it. When I walk past the mirror and look at the reflection staring back at me, I understand my age, but, truthfully, how I feel within is no different than when I was 23 … 33 … 43 … 53 … and so on.  My mother used to tell me the same thing, but I never really understood it until I got older.   I understand now, Mom.
 

 

Anyway, my oldest son and I have … hmmm … how do I describe it … ok let’s try this: a difficult relationship.  I won’t go into it any further than that.  I’ll just state that I love him without question and unconditionally, because he is my son.  I am constantly amazed by the things he knows and can do, but I don’t always understand his life view.  That’s ok though.  I don’t have to understand, as it is HIS life to live and HIS view to have.  I wish him health and happiness on this birthday of his and his journey in life, and I know that he wishes me the same.

  

He can make me crazy at times and so angry that I say and do things I shouldn’t … and then in the next breath, he can make me laugh till I have tears running down my face.  No matter what, however, I love him.  I started his journey with him, and I did what I thought was best when raising him, even if I made mistakes along the road (which we all of course do).  I know that he is also doing his best at living his own life … and that’s all anyone can do.

 

Happy birthday, Logan!  Roy and I love you. 

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