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Posts Tagged ‘high school’

  

“I’ve got to tell you I’ve been rackin’ my brain, hopin’ to find a way out.   I’ve had enough of this continual rain.  Changes are acomin’, no doubt.  It’s been a too long time with no peace of mind, and I’m ready for the times to get better.  …  I feel so lonesome at times.  I have a dream that I could live.   It’s burnin’ holes in my mind.”   Crystal Gayle

We all know how some days/weeks in life are better than others. Right now, I have a job I smile through gritted teeth at and bear until I can leave for the better life I work toward. 

Management is insulting to not only me but also to anyone not part of their virtual “good ol’ boy” in-club/political cronyism that gets all the job favoritism heaped on certain people that have no real ability or knowledge to actually *do* the work they are paid top dollar for, while those that actually WORK are told they aren’t “good enough”.  What it boils down to is that there are those of us that take actual PRIDE in what we produce and refuse to kiss political ass.  We refuse to play their games.   The idiotic powers-that-be don’t like that.  It’s like high school cliques and being around the “mean girls”.   I didn’t do it then.  I sure as hell won’t now.  I have entirely too much self-respect … something that is in very short supply in today’s world. 

Then there’s Roy’s job that doesn’t understand basic scheduling and caters to one person who manipulates everything to provide only good schedules to him.   Roy gets the dregs … because of management ineptitude that is too afraid to upset the apple cart and wants everything easy on them.   What they fail to understand is that not addressing the issue just causes more issues in the future, particularly since, when their “golden boy” gets into scheduling nightmares (which he is VERY prone to), they then depend on Roy to bail them out. 

So what is my point here?  My point is … I am glad to be working toward financial independence so that we don’t have to depend on the inept or the cronyism that is rampant. “Regular” jobs (whatever the hell those are) … suck … BIG TIME. 

Have a Plan B.  

  

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One of the MAIN and most important things I’ve learned in life, as has Roy, would be the following:

With all the flat-out BS we have both encountered in life, if we weren’t able to get past it, move on, and carry on in life, we’d never have found good and we’d carry around poison in our souls that would only be emanating out to those around us.  Essentially, it boils down to this:

SHIT HAPPENS.

However, the only way we’ll find something better is to look past it, let the bad go, and carry on.

We’ve always tried to find out how to fix that shit that happens.  We find out what may have gone wrong or what perhaps we did to cause something so that we can correct it and/or make amends.  We don’t hide from it.  We don’t ignore the situation.  If someone else is involved in it, we discuss it with them.  We go full force at it and then, once it’s done, WE LET IT GO.

That’s how we have been able to move forward and find the good in life and find something better for ourselves.  We’ve learned to grow up … put on our big girl or big boy pants … and move forward.

Maybe that’s part of our problem with being as independent as we are.  We can’t worry all the time about what everyone else is doing or thinking about us.  Chances are … they AREN’T … because they’re too busy worrying about what someone else thinks of them.  We don’t have that luxury.  Some days our worry is putting one foot in front of the other and making sure we’re able to do that.  When my 2nd son died, I was lucky to get out of bed in the morning.  Some days that was my whole goal … to just get up out of bed so that I could make sure my other 2 children were ok. When Roy and I went through all of our medical and financial and employment issues a few short years ago, our main goal was making sure we were there for each other and going at the problems and the issues.  When someone essentially backstabbed us during it all, we went straight at them and the issue and FIXED IT.  There are many many more that I won’t list here now.  Suffice it to say that we have had so many things happen that we can either sit in a corner and feel sorry for ourselves and try to nurse our wounds and say “oh poor me” and “woe is me” and “everyone is picking on me”, but what good would that do?

NONE.

We’re also not going to pick on and judge others for how they are.

However, if there is a “perceived issue” between us and someone else, we’ll try to find out what the challenge is.

Our opinion is this:

Get to the bottom of the problem.  Don’t lie about it.  Don’t hide from it.  Fix it if possible.  Move on if it’s not possible.  Learn from whatever happened.  Make the changes to not let it happen again.

THEN LET IT GO.

STOP DWELLING ON HOW UNFAIR EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS IN LIFE.

I guess that’s our problem though.  We don’t like to have unresolved issues.  We go straight at a problem if we think there is one.  I guess not everyone is that way.  Many people still resolve it like they did in middle school and high school.

“Hi, Mary, it’s Billy.  Susie told me that Johnny said that Sally thinks you were mean to her so none of them like you any more.”

This is pure 7th grade … through and through … which is a theme I spoke of in a prior blogpost.

Ok … so … why doesn’t SALLY tell whoever she thinks was mean to her what they did so it can be resolved?  That’s what it boils down to.  When someone is 12 years old, they aren’t always mature enough to be able to handle it well.  However, we would think that it would be something a person acquires over time (or at least tries to acquire over time) … and most definitely by the time adulthood is reached.

If Sally is unhappy … rather than telling Johnny she’s mad … and having it then go through Susie to Billy to Mary … particularly if they are all in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and/or beyond … perhaps Sally should go talk to Mary about the problem and GET IT SOLVED.  If it CAN’T be solved, then they’ll at least know WHY and what is going on, rather than guessing all the time.  If it can’t be solved, they can at least carry on with their lives and not continue to talk behind each other’s backs.  They can then find a better way for each of them.

I see this over and over and over and OVER … and not just from 12 year olds … but from older and older people who can’t seem to let go of their past and get out of the clique mentality of 7th grade … or high school.  I see it at work.  I see it in social circles.  I see it between neighbors.  I see it in political liaisons.  I see it in families.

Guess what?  When an individual learns to LET IT GO, then they can *TRULY* be considered “adult”, at least in my not-so-humble opinion.  That’s also when they can truly find a better life for themselves.  They’ll find that a better life comes along for all of them.  Maybe that “better life” will be together between them.  Maybe it won’t be.  However, carrying around that negativity will ensure that they will never find that “something better”.

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