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Archive for the ‘Children’ Category

Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of Keegan’s death.  While it’s not something I choose to celebrate, it’s something that’s hard not to acknowledge because it’s woven into the very fabric of my being.   If you can’t understand completely … be thankful … but at least be compassionate to those of us that live it 24/7 forever and always.  All 3 of my children are part of me, whether currently on this earth or not.  The love will be there no matter where they are or what they say and do.

https://abedformyheart.com/7-things-since-loss-of-child/

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When he was 16 years old, he received a double lung transplant at Stanford University Hospital.  Then, 16 years ago today, at the ripe old age of merely 17, at 547 am, he died.  

Keegan, forever and always, I will miss my #2 child … 

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I thank God for allowing me to be blessed with three amazing children I gave birth to and one equally as amazing son-in-law.  I am not sure who has learned more from the experience of being there as you all have moved through life, me or you, but I’m blessed to be considered your mother/mother-in-law.  Even with 3 of you now as adults and 1 of you waiting in heaven for me, you are all miracles in your own right. 

Happy Mama’s Day from your Mama!  I love you all more than words can express.  💕 

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Those of you that have read my blogposts throughout the past several years know that I write about a variety of topics.   I couldn’t limit myself to one thing if I tried.  I have entirely too many interests and ideas as well as a multitude of life experiences, being the age that I am.   

One of my common topics, however, is my children.  All of them are among the most important things in my life and have all made me the person I am today.  Through all of the ups-and-downs, all three of them have made an amazing impact on me. 

My middle child, Keegan, died when he was 17 years old, one year post double lung transplant.  He had an amazing old soul and touched more people in his short 17-year life than most people do in 80 or 90 years.   All of this I have discussed previously.  However, this morning, shortly after I arrived at work, it again became apparent how much impact he had.  I received a message from one of his high school buddies.   I can flat out say … I UGLY cried … which sounds terrible but it was a “truly-touched-my-soul-to-the-core cry” … and once again convinced me of what a truly remarkable being Keegan is/was.

 
Anyway, shortly after I arrived at work, I noticed a private message that had been sent to me via social media.  I checked and noted it was from a good friend that was one of Keegan’s really good buddies throughout school.  Her name is Ann and she has her own blog at:

 http://lostandfarm.wordpress.com 

 
Check her out. She is a wonderful friend, wife, and mother with a wealth of wisdom to share.

 
Anyway, I received the following message from her this morning:


 

 

 
 She then proceeded to state the following: “I don’t know if you remember Colleen ____ (she’s Colleen Houser now) but she asked if I know how to reach Keegan’s family still because she wanted to let them know that Keegan touched a lot of lives and will never be forgotten.  I told her I would pass the message on.”

 
I responded with: “You are more than welcome to give her my email and have her contact me through Facebook.  I’m sitting here sobbing at work.   He died the end of May.”

 
This is what I received in return from Ann: 
 

“I’m sure she’d love that. … she basically grew up with us and we all went to high school together. 🙂  She was often in on our shenanigans with Keegan.   LOL!  These are her books, by the way.”

 
There was more, but I’ll leave it at that.  Colleen contacted me through Facebook.   I remember her as part of the crowd that all were silly together in high school with Keegan and who he counted as friends.  I encourage you to go to her Amazon website and check her out.  It’ll be well worth it.  Her Amazon.com author page is:

 
https://www.amazon.com/Colleen-Houser/e/B00C5RHY00/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1491593348&sr=1-2-ent 
 

I’ll end with this.

 

Even if your life is short, go out and do something big.  Affect the lives of those around you, however you can.   Uplift.  Share.  Enjoy.  Put yourself out there.  Don’t live small.  Live large and you will make a difference.

Carry on, all. 

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… dedicated to my baby boy, my late son, my Keegan … on his “fake” birthday since this isn’t a Leap Year and his “real” birthday … 

“Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through. (Everybody say I’m cool.) (He cool.) I can’t complain but sometimes I still do. Life’s been good to me so far.” Joe Walsh

#birthday #birthdaycelebration #keegan #leapdaybaby #love #cysticfibrosis #cf #justbreathe #cfsucks

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❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

I love you, baby girl.

I always have. 

I always will. 

I am so proud of who you are and what you have become.  I love you and Alex forever and always. 

While you may no longer be a baby … you’ll always and forever be my baby girl.  

Happy birthday, baby girl.

❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

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My oldest child is 34 today.   I wish I could see him, but he’s currently living in Texas and I’m in California.  We have … at best … a strained relationship … but no matter what … he’s my son and I will love him forever as his mother.   I wish him happiness, health, and well-being on his birthday … and pray daily for wisdom within myself to accept and understand that which I currently cannot. 

 

The picture below is of me approximately 1 – 2 weeks before he was born.  Yes, it looks like I was carrying a pumpkin under my shirt … and yes … those pants were big and baggy and oversized on me because everything else I had was just too tight.  Anyway … at 9½ lbs … he looked like a big healthy pumpkin when he was born exactly one week after Halloween too.

 

 

 
 

 

I love you, baby boy #1, no matter what.

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