Archive for May, 2015


Keegan, my middle child, died 14 years ago today at dawn … at 5:47 am to be exact. It’s still unreal to me that one of my babies died. It just doesn’t seem possible that a child of mine would have died at the age of 17 from complications of Cystic Fibrosis a little over a year post-double-lung transplant. It still amazes me how much he accomplished in his very short life.

You know what astounds me though? People that think I should have “gotten over it” by now. Just because a certain amount of time has passed doesn’t mean the grief ends. As a parent, I’ve lost a piece of my heart. His sister and brother have lost a part of who they are. His friends have lost a piece of their childhood. His grandparents have lost a piece of their legacy.

Let me put it this way. If you lose an arm, is there a time limit that you have to “forget about it” and “get over it”? No. You learn to deal with it, but you will always and forever miss that and wish it were still a part of you. There are other illustrations I could give, but essentially it boils down to this. When someone who is greatly loved dies, you lose a piece of your heart.




Those that think and say that sort of thing are positively clueless … or heartless … or both.

So anyway, on this anniversary of his death, even though it’s not something I tend to “celebrate” like I still, as his mother, celebrate, for example, his birthday, I send this out to him and to all that knew him, knowing that this is the way he’d want them to remember him.




Don’t stand by my grave and weep,

For I’m not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond’s glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circle flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.


Keegan Crowley Wahler

2.29.1984 (2:30 pm) – 5.30.2001 (5:47 am)

This is Keegan on his Disney Make-A-Wish Cruise in February, 2001, just 3 months, almost to the day, before he died. 


I miss you still, baby boy. 

I always will. 

Read Full Post »

Keegan died 14 years ago tomorrow morning.  The day before was hell.  I remember it better than I do the day and month after. 

I will love my middle child forever and always. 

Read Full Post »


… that … just … THAT …


I love you all unconditionally. 




Read Full Post »


On this Mother’s Day, I dedicate this to my 3 children as well as to my amazing mother. 
I love you all unconditionally. 

💗 💗 💗 💗 💗 💗


Read Full Post »